


in this shifted sky, we're connected minds.

by wewereliars



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I couldn't find a tag for Kun x Yuta and screamed, M/M, but I love him, i almost forgot to tag for jaeyong, i made ten a soft nice baby, im ten, in the actual groupchat he's a dick, its me im the dick, johnny is a dick, ten is just a hurt baby love him, tenjaeyong? yes, theres so much poly in this holy fuck, this moves awful fast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-04-21 22:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wewereliars/pseuds/wewereliars
Summary: nct is a mess. (ten is a mess)





	1. Chapter 1

Loosely based of the NCTEA group chat.

( _By loosely, I mean I basically just used the couples and made an angsty mess._ )

 

**Dedicated to Isa and Jackson.**

 


	2. i just want you to remember, i don't love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ten was trying.

“Oh, Ten, what are you doing here?” Jaehyun asked as he entered his apartment, sliding off his shoes and hanging up his coat, looking over at the man curled up on his couch in an oversized sweater he could only assume was Johnny’s.

“I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Where’s Johnny?” He asked, sitting on the other end of the couch, briefly looking at the the TV which was playing the music channel quietly. Ten sighed heavily, burrowing deeper in the sweater, pulling the sleeves out over his hands.

“With Doyoung.” He said quietly, pulling out his phone and opening it, appearing to search for something before holding out his phone, presumably for Jaehyun to look at something, which he did, reading through texts between Ten and Johnny, again thankful that he could speak English.

 

 **_Johnny_ ** _: i just want you to remember_

 **_Johnny_ ** _: that i don’t love you_

 **Ten** : I know.

 **_Johnny:_ ** _good_

 **Ten:** we should break up.

 **_Johnny_ ** _: i don’t want too_

 **Ten:** I don’t care, I’m not staying with you because your parents don’t like Doyoung and you want to use me as a cover. This way you don’t have to cheat on me anymore okay? Just go be happy.

 **_Johnny:_ ** _You knew about it? I’m sorry._

 

Jaehyun handed the device back wordlessly, sitting back to process what he had just read. Everyone of their friends though they had the perfect relationship, they always looked happy and so in love, neither of them had gone to anyone about the slightest problem, Yet they had been the worst out of all of them this entire time.

“I just wanted to be the person someone couldn’t live without, you know? I guess there’s just some kind of sick satisfaction in the blissful ignorance. It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of believing the best and only the best in people.” He paused, tears welling in his eyes. “I saw them, more than once, together, and he didn’t even try and explain, yet I still believed the unspoken words any normal person would say. I was convenient, and I guess I’m just glad I could make him happy, at least at the beginning.”  
Jaehyun blew out his breathe harshly, rubbing at his face in anger, noone deserved this, especially Ten, and he knew Johnny wasn’t a bad guy, he just made some bad decisions.

“Come here.” He reached out for the Thai boy, who hesitantly shifted over into his arms, but when Jaehyun wrapped his arms around him tightly, he curled into the others chest, tears starting the fall freely.

After that, Ten spent more and more time at Jaehyun’s apartment, crashing his and Taeyong’s date nights, but the two enjoyed the time more than they would’ve on their own, squishing Ten in between them on the couch as they watched movies and ate fatty food. Ten should’ve, realistically, felt like a third wheel too the couple, but honestly? He felt more like a part of it.

“Johnny wants me to move out of our apartment.” Ten mentioned idly one morning, sitting at the kitchen counter, eating breakfast, Taeyong sitting to his left looking half-asleep, Jaehyun stood in the kitchen leaning on the counter.

“Why?” Taeyong asked quietly, eyes half closed, turning slightly to look at him, but he just stared down at his bowl of cereal.

“He wants Doyoung to move in.” Jaehyun cursed, dropping his head in his hands, rubbing at his temples with a groan. He couldn’t believe how unfair Johnny had been the past month or so, there was no way that this was one of his best friends, he has to be possessed. “I have nowhere to go.”

“Move in here, there’s more than enough space.”

It was as simple as that, over the next two weeks, Ten and Johnny changed the contract on their apartment, Ten traded his key for a copy of Jaehyun’s and slowly moved all his belongings over.

 


	3. i don't know what you mean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yuta why?

“Ten! My main man!” Yuta called, waving from the entrance of the club they were meeting at, WinWin beside him.    
“Since when have I been your ‘main man’.” Ten laughed as he walked closer, shaking his head, amused. Yuta rolled his eyes, throwing his arm over Ten’s shoulders and ruffling his hair cheekily.

“Us foreigners gotta stay together man!” 

“Your boyfriends are both literally Chinese.” Yuta scoffed, removing himself from Ten’s side, clinging onto WinWin instead, draping himself over his back, and Ten couldn’t tell if he’d already had a few drinks or was just being weird. The three made their way inside, Ten sighing as he got called for his ID, trying to convince the security guard that yes, he was old enough and no, this isn’t a fake ID. He made his way around the crowd, inching towards the booth he could see his friends in across the room. He sat down, glancing out at the crowd of people dancing and having fun, probably all pissed off their mind, bright coloured lights shining off sweat and making eyes sparkle. The atmosphere was the same as most clubs, sexual and humid, a fact Ten was far too aware of as he tried not to glance over at WinWin and Yuta, whom he could tell were feeling each other up under the table. As the waitress bought over Ten’s drink, a few minutes later, the couple he had shown up with stood, excusing themselves for exactly the reason he was thinking with a half-hearted, “Some of the others will be here soon.”

So he sat there, idly stirring his drink with a straw, lost in his thoughts as the bare skin of his midriff stuck to the fax leather of the seat from the humidity that was causing him to sweat. Many times, he’d noticed eyes wandering to him, scanning his figure, but he couldn’t bring himself to get up and seek out the alluring stares like he would’ve in the past, and he couldn’t tell why. 

“Did YuWin ditch you?” Ten looked up, locking eyes with Lucas, who smiled brightly, waving slightly. He jumped up out of his seat, wrapping his arms around the taller male, then pulling him to sit down.

“They did indeed, how are you man?” He asked, resting his head on his hands as he looked over at Lucas, the lights of the club reflecting off the shimmer in the boys brown hair.

“I’m pretty good, haven’t been doing much besides working and college.” He shrugged, smiling again, making Ten smile as well.    
“Annoying Kun still?”

“Oh, constantly, he can’t  _ stand _ me. That’s probably why he’s always sitting down.” The two caught up for a while, commenting on the fact that maybe a cafe or any other place would’ve been better since neither of them were in the mood to club, but then Yuta and WinWin came back, looking noticeably disheveled, sliding into the booth again.    
“I thought you were gonna go for the rest of the night.” Lucas commented, gesturing vaguely at them with an incredulous look. 

“We figured we couldn’t leave Ten here alone, not with the rest of the crowd.” WinWin said, looking over at the door and biting his lip. Ten furrowed his eyebrows, following WinWin’s line of site, trying to see through the crowd for whatever the Chinese boy was looking at. 

“I don’t know what you mean- Oh.” They had invited Johnny and Doyoung. Ten wondered if it would be childish for him to leave, but he wondered too long because now the two were standing awkwardly by the booth, greeting the others. “I’m going to go dance.” He said, shoving past Lucas and fitting himself into the crowd, trying to ignore how he was feeling, but tonight he just wasn’t drunk enough to get lost in someone’s eyes, wasn’t drunk enough too accidentally hook up with one of his best friends. So, he made his way too the door and stepped into the night air, letting the chilly wind brush over his skin and push his hair away from his face, and he realized now that he didn’t know his way home and he didn’t have money for a taxi and his phone was flat and he realized he was truly alone for the first time in years. He couldn’t hold back his sobs as he walked down the street, staring down at his phone and feeling betrayed by the device, he wondered if his tears could break it fully from the amount streaming down his cheeks. The wind got stronger, biting his skin, and he looked down, laughing incredulously at himself because of the sight of his crop-top and leather pants, boots fashionably unlaced. Why did he think this would’ve been any semblance of a good idea?   
“Ten? Ten? Oh my god, are you okay?” He looked up, and saw his friend, Amber, coming out of the restaurant she worked at, girlfriend hanging off her arm. He didn’t know why but the sobs got heavier, Amber and Krystal were running over, he was collapsing into someone’s arms, he didn’t know who. It was so hard to breathe, and Ten clutched at his chest, coughing.    
“Ten, I need you to breathe.” Amber said, gripping his shoulders and holding him up. “Hey, do you remember the time we went to America together? The beach house was really nice right?” He recalled his memories, thinking back to how they walked the streets of Los Angeles one day and San Francisco the next, blasting music from the rented car they had picked up and how it was probably one of the best times of his life.

“Are you okay?” Krystal asked cautiously, rubbing his back gently. He nodded, taking in a few shaky breathes, finding himself being pulled into Amber’s chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly. 

“Here, let’s get you home, okay?” Krystal sat in the back of Amber’s car with him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder, carding her fingers through his hair gently. When they got to the front of the apartment building, Amber got out, wrapping him in another tight hug. 

“Call me if you ever need me, regardless of how silly it might be.” She said as she pulled away, smiling. He nodded, thanking her and making his way into the building. He carefully opened the door, thinking that it must be at least 2 am, trying to silently take off his shoes so he didn’t disturb Jaehyun, or Taeyong, if he was here. 

“Ten?” A soft voice comes from behind him and he whips his head around to see Taeyong in his pajamas, rubbing at his eyes, obviously tired. “You’ve been crying?”

“Uh, no.” Taeyong laughed at this, shaking his head.

“You have mascara tear stains.” Ten awkwardly smiled, straightening up and trying not to look like it felt like he was dying on the inside. Taeyong reached forward and gripped his wrist, dragging him to the bathroom and sitting him down on the edge of the bathtub, turning on the sink, wetting a washcloth with warm water. He wiped at the makeup stains on his face, and Ten almost started crying again at the gentleness, leaning into the touch. Taeyong wiped his face dry and stood back, nodding in approval and Ten stood up to leave, but Taeyong stopped him.

“I forgot something.” Ten cocked his head in confusion and was about to ask what, but then the other boy has pressed their lips together and pulled away quickly.

“Sleep well.”


	4. 7 floors down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yo,, thanks for everyone that has read this?? im like, shook,, (this is short because i wanted to update but im busy oops)

Ten looked out his window, watching the cars and people bustling below, cradling his coffee cup in his hand. He had wondered why Jaehyun didn’t take this room as his own when he moved in, because the window was large and the sill was big enough that you could sit in it and stare out, and on days like today when it was slightly frosted over with residue from the last nights cold spell, it was magical to watch the lights reflect from 7 floors down. Rain had started to fall again, lightly, a gentle pitter-patter on the windows that made him smile, and he thought about himself, and how his first love was dancing but he liked to pretend it was  _ him _ , because people expect you to say a name when they inquire into subjects they really have no business knowing. A soft knock echoes on the door before it creaks open, because Jaehyun knows Ten would’ve locked it if he really didn’t want anyone coming in.

“Hey, Taeyong wants you to come have breakfast with us.”

“And you didn't want me too?” He teased, getting up off the bed, empty coffee cup in hand. Jaehyun blanched and Ten giggled, patting him on the shoulder and pushing him gently through the doorway to the kitchen. “I know what you mean.”

“Are you feeling better today, Ten?” Taeyong asked as he sat down, standing in the kitchen, cooking. The memories rushed back to Ten and he choked on nothing, stumbling out of his chair in shock, mouth dropping open.

 

_ Taeyong wiped his face dry and stood back, nodding in approval and Ten stood up to leave, but Taeyong stopped him. _

_ “I forgot something.” Ten cocked his head in confusion and was about to ask what, but then the other boy has pressed their lips together and pulled away quickly. _

_ “Sleep well.” _

 

“I- you- what? Why? Holy shit.” Jaehyun looked between Ten and Taeyong, leaning slightly forward in his chair,  eyebrows furrowed in confusion, silently asking ‘What the fuck happened?’.

“Oh, I kissed him last night.”    
“Tae, why?” Jaehyun whined, dragging out the syllables and pouting at his boyfriend. “I wanted to kiss him first!” Taeyong laughed as he checked the rice, shrugging, while Ten braced himself on the counter, trying to wrap his head around what was actually going on; Taeyong liked him? Jaehyun liked him? They were supposed to be dating each other, what the hell was going on? 

“Ten, are you okay?” Ten looked up at Jaehyun, who was hovering at his side, a worried look on his face, and he nodded slowly, moving back to his seat. He looked over at Taeyong and then back at Jaehyun, who had sat back down as well, and he wondered at the outcome of this, wondering if they were implying what he thought they were. He didn’t realise he had spoken out loud.

“Yes, that is exactly what we’re implying.” Taeyong said, serving up the dishes that had finished cooking. “Only if you’re comfortable.”

“I- I can’t love you.” He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “I’m hard to love, and I don’t think I’m the same person I was before because I don’t know who I am anymore, everything used to smell like flowers and now I all I can taste is acid on the back of my tongue.” 

“Ten, I’m sorry-”  Taeyong said, getting cut off.

“It’s okay, I’m not saying no, just let me have some time to think okay? I think I just have to find myself again.” Ten would’ve laughed when the other two let out matching sighs of relief, but he was already lost in his head again.       


	5. thank god

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ten finds himself

“I’ll see you guys later.” Ten called as he pulled on his coat at the front door, slipping into his shoes. A faint reply came from somewhere in the apartment and he stepped outside, locking the door behind him and waiting for the elevator to take him down to the carpark. As he drove, he wished that the traffic was heavier, but the road he was taking moved steadily, unlike his beating heart which pounded so hard in his chest he was convinced it was about to rebel and just break out of it’s confines. He was on a mission, if you could call it that, a mission to rediscover the parts of himself that he hadn’t seen or heard from besides the slight blush on his cheeks when he was told he was beautiful; the parts of him that were crying every day now, all in their own ways, because where’s the love, you’re depriving us, they’d scream, through the aches in his thighs or the cracking of his fingers. He would find a way to love himself, but first he had to burn the empty promises of a boy who only cared about himself, the empty promises of a heart that was replaced by stones. Ten stood outside the familiar building, car keys clenched in his right hand, creasing his palm and he was more than tempted to just drive away and pretend that it never existed. He decided to take the stairs, rather than the elevator because he needed the ache in his legs to ground himself before he knocked on the door, so he didn’t crack like a porcelain vase on tiles. A quick knock, and he stepped back, almost ready to run, until the door cracked open to reveal Doyoung who peeked his head out and looked awfully shocked to see him.

“Hi, I- uh, forgot something in storage when I moved out.” Ten stumbled over his words, fumbling with his keys unconsciously. He felt like it would’ve been easier if it was Johnny who answered the door.

“Johnny’s parents are here, but I guess if you’re quick? Here, wait, I’ll go ask.” Doyoung said, leaving the door cracked open as he disappeared into the house, appearing back in a moment and gesturing for him to come inside.

“I’m sorry to be a bother,” Doyoung shook his head violently in reassurance. “How are the family warming up to you?” The other sighed, casting a look at the living rooms open door, shoulders slouching.

“I don’t how you did it, they hate me and I’m trying to be extra nice.” Ten cringed, nodding as they walked towards the storage room, and he was struck by the fact that nothing had changed, Doyoung was still one of his friends and there’s no reason for him to push them away.

“Make dad jokes, I found that usually worked.” He said over his shoulder as he pushed things around on the shelf, searching for the box with his name on it, eventually finding it behind an old blender. As he pulled it off the shelf he was surprised by how heavy it is, letting out a small curse and backing carefully out of the small room.

“I won’t stick around, but thanks for letting me in, Doyoung, good luck.” Ten smiled, bowing his head slightly and exiting the apartment, almost falling against the wall as soon as the door shut. He had caught a glimpse of Johnny when he had entered, and the other didn’t look like he had changed a bit, the same bright smile as always, but Ten was happy, rather than sad, because he realised that he didn’t love that smile quite as much as he thought he did.

Ten sighed, looking at the time on the radio of his car, 6:27 pm, which meant he would arrive at Sokcho beach in about 10 minutes, which was a relief after driving two hours from Seoul, and he briefly wondered if this really was that good an idea. Upon arriving at the beach, he got out of his car, and took his bag of stuff over to the empty campsite, dropping it on the sand and looking out at the water for a minute as it crashed against the shore. A part of him wished that he wasn’t alone and that someone could hold his hand while he destroyed the last of what was left of his relationship.

“You are you when nobody else is looking.” He muttered to himself, pulling a lighter out of his pocket and lighting a fire-lighter before dropping it into the fire pit. He waited as the flames licked at the wood, opening the box that was beside him, pulling out a polaroid from the top of the pile. Ten remembers the details of that night, Johnny had shown up outside his house, and exclaimed that they had to go to the new bbq place, but it was really a farce to ask him out. He laughed quietly to himself, dropping it into the fire and smiling in satisfaction as it crumpled into ashes. He repeated this over again for every photo, recalling memories and burning them, feeling weight lift of his shoulders gradually. He reached the bottom of the box, and glanced at the photo, it was a selfie of the time him, Taeyong, Jaehyun, Hansol, Doyoung and Johnny had taken a road trip Daejeon and stayed in a crappy hotel because their previous booking hadn’t worked out. Ten decided to keep it, slipping it into his bag and pulling his knees up to his chest, resting his head there as he looked over at the ocean. The sun had set a few minutes ago, where it had been sitting on the edge of the water, looking like it was taking breathes before slipping lower and letting a calm dark fall across the quiet beach. He didn’t know why but suddenly he was emptying his pockets and shrugging out of his shirt, sprinting across the sand towards the wall, stumbling on the uneven ground and falling into the water, letting out a laugh as he let himself get splashed and dunked over and over by the waves. He dived under and stayed until it felt like his lungs would burst before rising up and taking gasping breaths that made his throat hurt, but it was so good.  
“Thank god.” He breathed out, standing in waist deep water as he stared up at the moon. “I’ve still got it. I’m not broken and god, that’s such a relief.” He made his way towards the shore, sighing at the feeling of his jeans sticking to his legs, wishing he had for some reason bought a spare pair of clothes, but he guessed he’d just have to ruin his car seats. Collecting all his things quickly, he kicked sand over the fire, effectively putting it out and nodding at his work, walking to his car and putting his sand covered belongings on the backseat, then pulling his shirt back on. He got into the driver's seat, groaning at the amount of water that was emptied onto his floor from his jeans; he didn’t even have a towel. The time was 10 pm, he wouldn’t reach home till midnight, so he plugged his phone into the aux and prepared himself for a very uncomfortable ride.

“Sweet jesus.” He mumbled upon seeing the apartment building, eyes dropping and jeans stiff. He had never been more thankful for the elevator heating, seeing as his cars heating had stopped working half an hour away from Sokcho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was really struggling to write this?? this story doesn't have a fixed plot and was honestly a last minute decision to write, so if anyone has any ideas or would like too see anything please comment!


	6. not an update

sorry to everyone who has been reading this, i haven't been able to update because i've just been busy.  
I have to have surgery in 5 days so i'll try to write while im recovering but i can't guarantee i'll take my computer to the city.  
sorry but hiatus on this  
xx


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